jootloop:

it’s so annoying when people talk about weed like it’s a psychedelic you aren’t having any kind of breakthrough on it you’re just dumb temporarily. weed is for being a dog and eating 40 mcnuggets. or doing anal

(via thatstoolow)

wizardshark:

grimeclown:

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

Now that it’s back it’s hard to remember a time where they sued to get the post taken down

(via thatstoolow)

chubunited:

walermelom

(via hoofusdoofus)

ruubesz-draws:

Shin Godzilla 2016

This is canon btw

it’s why he shoots purple

(via sophie-baybey)

puffins-and-bears:

:)

(via artiasc)

distortiondragon:

reposting a favorite reddit moment of mine since god knows if ill ever see it again

(via direhuman)

discoursedrome:

10001gecs:

tumblr being all adults nowadays is so funny because my mutuals are either unemployed chainsmokers or Ezra, Bioengineering PHD Candidate at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

one of the important lessons to learn about adult life is that the gap between an unemployed chainsmoker and a bioengineering phd candidate is actually not that large

(via artiasc)

escuerzoresucitado:

(via artiasc)

thepleasuregoblin:

helianthus-hellion:

virgo-dicks:

Yeah my name is Tim, short for OpTIMus Prime

[id: tags saying “wait wait i wanna know where they plan on using their full name, why’d you cut it off”]

answer: THEIR WEDDING.

I can’t describe to you the emotion I would feel if I was hanging out with my friend Tim and he was like “hey we’ve been friends for a while now I want to show you something,” and he hands me his driver’s license, upon which I read “Optimus Prime Jones”

(via artiasc)

dadvans:

dadvans:

dadvans:

true story

me for the first 33 years of my life: my dad used to say “what would happen if you woke up on the titanic?? think about it” when he was tucking me in at night from at least age 5 and up, a form of psychological torture

me in my 33rd year of life: my dad optimistically thought i would have $250k to blow on something stupid by now and shut that shit down at the jump in the 90s

this was his response 5 seconds later

(via vera-lycaon)